An open letter on the loss of a good friend - Dave Dametto
Date: 26th March, 2003
Dave was a friend I met in September of 1989. We made our acquaintance at Brock University, just a few days after my arrival in Canada. Both of us were a little clumsy, a little off, as compared to the rest of our class fellows. Quite independently, we both ended up in the same classes - even in the same sections of a Psychology seminar. Both of us also ended up taking the same elective courses - by chance. Indeed there was something that drew us to each other - perhaps our similarity.
Through thick and thin, Dave remained a good friend to me. He was a supportive and a caring friend, despite all my flaws. A soft spot that I had held and still hold for him will remain with me forever. My personal loss with his sudden departure is indescribable, for he shaped much of who I am. But I am not alone in this camp. Many of our mutual friends have expressed their sincerest condolences on Dave's passing.
He was, is, and will, remain my best friend.
A sense of remorse, futility, and untimeliness over his death gnaws at me. I imagine it must be harder for his family and so I send my best to them. Our time spent together dances before my mind's eye like the projection on a screen - real and fiction at the same time. I miss him and I know I will miss him for a long time.
I have no siblings, but I am certain that my relationship with Dave is what it must be like to have had a big brother.
My eyes well up and my throat gets a little lump that is hard to swallow when, it dawns on me that he will not be with us. The idea that there can neither be other new experiences nor any new memories formed with him, frightens me and somehow makes me feel vulnerable. He will however remain a big part of my life. His influence on me is indescribable in words - for I am inarticulate and the scope of this note does not permit this. But some noteworthy ways in which he touched me are:
Human, all too human, he was. Indeed I loved him as a friend. I respected him as an intelligent human being.
I don't quite know how to react to his passing, but am most thankful that I had the opportunity to be friends with such a good man. Thirteen and a half years of sharing aspects of life, which people might call mundane, were (and will remain) very meaningful to me. They might not measure up against any scale of importance to others, but to us, they were quality moments, those moments that we all hope to have in our lives –
Often we would get together, watch a movie, cook dinner together, play guitar, listen to music, talk about politics, talk about families, talk about relationships, and be truly free and happy. His love for his nieces and nephew was beyond any description. As a matter of fact, some of the e-mails we exchanged this past month were regarding the movie "Holy Grail" and his shock that, "[m]y sister's kids, a.k.a. the terrible trio" had not seen the movie. I'll miss these kinds of moments with him so much!
I know that Dave will form another friendship with another soul elsewhere and continue the tradition, for he was genuinely friendly and honest and loveable. I too will carry on in my own clumsy ways, but I am going to miss not sharing things with him. In this memory, I hope to emulate his ways of being a friend to me, with someone else, and in that, keep his spirit alive.
I mourn the loss of Dave and hope that his soul finds peace. I wish and pray that his mom, Val and Tor find peace and comfort in the knowledge that he had touched many lives and that we all send him our best prayers.